The Leptologists Eat at Dirty Frank's Hotdog Palace

Paul: You picked Dirty Frank's Hotdog Palace today, a Columbus institution.
Candice: We arrive at 11:30 and we have to wait. People are already waiting on the sidewalk.  Par for the course with this place.  Has been like this since it opened.  Popular, and soon you'll see why.
Paul: Luckily, two spots open at bar. This place is small, but it's got character.
Candice: It's packed.  Best to get here before they open.

Interior Bar

Paul: Their menu is hilarious. They have almost 50 different hotdogs on the menu, with names like The Seoul Dog (Kim Chee, Mayo, and Sriracha sauce) and The Picnic Table (Baked Beans, Cabbage and Carrots, Mustard Slaw, Relish, and Chip Crumbs).
Candice: Or The Glenn Beck which is just a plain, old wiener.  Thanks for giving me this line, friend.
Paul: And they have 30 some toppings to go on the dogs. The permutations are immense.
Candice:  Math.  It's where it's at...The special today is a Dine Originals: two dogs, tater tots, and a dessert (baklava or brownie) for $10. We both decide to get that. For me, I choose The Real Man (Brown Mustard, Coney Sauce, Sauerkraut, and Onion) and The Chicago (Tomatoes, Onion, Peppers, Relish, Pickle, Yellow Mustard, and a dash of Celery Salt). For dessert, I have the brownie. I also get Grape Soda to drink.  'Cause, it's Grape Soda!!
Paul: I pick The Classy Lady (Cheese Sauce and Crushed Potato Chips) and the holiday special hotdog, The Franksgiving Dog (Turkey, Stuffing, and Gravy). For dessert, I have the baklava.
Candice: Service is quick.

Real Man, Chicago Dog, and Brownies

Paul: With so many people waiting to get in, it'd have to be.
Candice: I love the tingle-sweet/tingle-sweet cycle of the Chicago dog. This is a well-done dog.
Paul: The Franksgiving dog is like Thanksgiving in a bun. It's a combination of flavors I've never tasted before. The tots are generic.
Candice: They cleanse the palate.
Paul: You have an answer for everything.  Know It All.
I expected the Franksgiving dog to be very messy, but it's not so bad. These poppy seed buns are structurally sound.
Candice: ...and Science for the win.
The cups are ginormous. I love the Grape Soda.
'Cause, it's Grape Soda!!
Paul: I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't...ah, the heck with it.  The music is loud and runs from heavy metal to more progressive rock. It's kinda hard to be heard in here.
Candice: What? I was caught up in the episode of The Fresh Prince they have playing on the TV.

Classy Lady and Franksgiving Dog

Paul: "Smell ya later!" How's your Real Man?
Candice: Not as good as the Chicago. I've left it half-eaten. And your Classy Lady?
Paul: Likewise half-eaten. The chips are stale. And I think it would be better if they were BBQ chips.
Candice: That would be a Classier Lady.
Paul: Okay, now I am embarrassed.  How's your brownie?
Candice: Fresh and moist. Good brownie. Your baklava?
Paul: It's flaky and sweet. Maybe too sweet. Actually, I'm going to have to stop eating it, it's so sweet.
Candice: So what do you think overall?

Baklava

Paul: It's one of the more interesting places we've had lunch, lots of character and lots of interesting tastes mounted on the standard America hot dog.
Candice: It was a quick and cheap lunch. $10 each for a filling, tasty lunch.
Paul: Some missteps on the meal, such as the stale chips on the Classy Lady, the overly sweet baklava, and your not so great Real Man dog, but there's enough on the menu that anyone will be able to find something to delight the tummy.
Candice: Worth the wait?
Paul: Yes, for a party of two. A party of five or more would have a long wait unless they came early.
Candice: True. Worth the price? $10 for two dogs, tots, and dessert. That's pretty good.
Paul: Agreed. Worth coming back to?
Candice: Undoubtedly.
Paul: My only regret is that the Franksgiving dog is seasonal. That's a good dog.  Maybe, we can convince them to keep it on the menu year-round?
Candice: Yes, come back with your red foam hand and attempt some negotiating practices.  In the meantime, we should scoot.  People are still piling in here.
Paul: Smell ya later, Dirty Franks.
Candice: It's only cute when Will does it, dude.

	Candice	Paul
Worth the Price?
Worth the Wait?
Worth Coming Back?

The Leptologists Eat at Bangkok Restaurant and Grocery

Paul: Didn't we agree on no more Thai food after last week?
Candice: Yes, but that was last week and this is this week.  Time is relative, my friend.
Paul: Fine, let's eat some Thai food. We're at the Bangkok Restaurant and Grocery in Southeast Columbus.
Candice: Woah, smells musty in here.
Paul: And it's kitschy. I hope we're not disappointed again.
Candice: It's more crowded than the last place. There may be hope.
Paul: We're told to seat ourselves.
Candice: Which is nice, getting to choose.  Of course, I choose cold plastic booths, but no matter.  The aroma of delicious food starts to permeate my nostrils --
Paul: -- and after a few minutes I decide to get menus for ourselves off the counter.
Candice: The waitress arrives and we order. For me, the Rice Noodle Soup with Chicken and Fried Won Ton.
Paul: For me, I order the Pad Thai, Tom Yum Soup, and the combination appetizer.
Candice: It seems like this place has been here a long time. The chairs are frayed. There's a disco light in the corner. And there's a Thai channel on the TV, which is mesmerizing.  Young beautiful people either crying, singing or dancing.  Weird.
Paul: You're weird.  This place has been open since 1984 according to the website, almost as long as the Thai grocery next door.
Candice: I'm weird?  You carry around a big red foam hand and shout at people.
Paul: I don't shout. I enunciate.  Let's check out the grocery store on the way out.
Candice: Good idea. The crowd is pretty big and that's a good sign.
Paul: Here are the Fried Won Ton. That's a big portion.

Fried Won Tons

Candice: The tails are too crunchy for me. I don't like that, but they are tasty.
Paul: I agree. The fronts are pleasantly flavored. I guess the tails are just for holding.
Candice: Not touching that one, but I will touch the combination plate, that arrives full of even more appetizers. Um, we ordered a lot of food.
Paul: When has that ever been a problem for us?

Combination Appetizers

Candice: Uh...taken and noted.
Paul: The combination platter includes Tod Mun Pla (fish patties), Tod Mun Goong (shrimp patties), Baby Spring Rolls, and Shrimp and Squid Tempura.
Candice: Ah! These fish patties are yummy in my tummy. The cucumber and peanut sauce complement them well.
Paul: I agree. The fish patties are excellent.
Candice: The shrimp patties also hit home.
Paul: The baby spring rolls as well. This is a good combo platter.
Candice: The shrimp and squid tempura aren't quite as good.
Paul: Kinda normal compared to the other things on the plate.
Candice: Yup, but look - Here's your soup.

Tom Yum Soup

Paul: And what awesome soup it turns out to be! The chicken is fresh and delicious. The flavor is multifaceted and not as overpowering as the soup at the last restaurant.
Candice: Let me try it. Yes, oh my- that is good.
Paul: This soup is rocking. Best Tom Yum Soup I've ever tasted.
Candice: And here's my soup.
Paul: Your chicken noodle soup!
Candice: Calm down, friend.  It's just soup.

Guay Tiew Nam - Rice Noodle Soup with Chicken

Paul: But, it's a huge bowl of soup.
Candice: Tis and it's delicious. The layers are pungent, the chicken is fresh, and the lemongrass is plentiful. For the price, this is a lot of good soup.
Paul: Did we order too much?
Candice: Already asked and answered.
Paul: Here's my Pad Thai.
Candice: The waitress is bringing the food at a good pace.
Paul: Wow! This Pad Thai is exceptional. It may be the best Pad Thai I've ever had.

Pad Thai

Candice: Don't forget to use your lime.
Paul: The ingredients are well proportioned. The flavor is savory and it doesn't depend on the peanuts for its taste. This is really good Pad Thai.
Candice: You're right. That is the best Pad Thai we've experienced to date.
Paul: Queue the choir.
Candice: You're kinda coo coo today.  Understandable, though as this has been an exceptional meal. The food was ample with each portion enough to feed two people.
Paul: The price is pretty good for this amount of food too. My Tom Yum soup and Pad Thai were big winners. I kept going back to the soup, even after the Pad Thai arrived.
Candice: As did I.  You're a good sharer.  And don't forget, the appetizers were pretty decent, made even better by the cucumber and peanut sauce.
Paul: Worth the wait, price, and coming back?
Candice: I would definitely come back here.  At first glance and before first taste, a foodie may hesitate, but all in all - this is a great place to come back to time and again.
Paul: Agreed. This place is a winner.
Candice: and I'm a winner...
Paul: Yes, you're a winner.  I'm a winner...wouldn't you like to be a winner too?
Candice: Ugh.  Okay, campy, let's check out the grocery on the way out.

	Candice	Paul
Worth the Price?
Worth the Wait?
Worth Coming Back?

"Brio Review"

By special request, ladies and gentlemen.
(The opinions expressed herein are mine.  Paul in no way endorses or recommends what is written below)
~Candice


Months ago.  Many months ago.  I went with a friend to the Easton Brio for dinner.  It was a mid summer weekend afternoon and the consumer driven community was full of...uh, consumers.  Bustling, the walks. Full, the restaurants.  Empty, my stomach.  Bright, the sun.  Loud, the day.

We went to the Cheesecake Factory first.  Received our electronic device and stood on the sidewalk waiting.  I was listless from hunger and looked longingly across the way at Brio.  My companion noticed and asked if I'd rather go there instead.  My guess is he figured if they could sit us sooner, my longing would end and his belly would also be full.  A win-win way of thinking.  I agreed.

We walked into the restaurant, was told there was a wait, but we could sit at the patio bar.  Through the restaurant and out the double doors we went.  A waiter greeted us warmly.  Pleased, I was, not to be stuck inside on such a beautiful day with the din of a large crowd bouncing off the interior walls, I greeted him in like manner.  My companion was quick to notice an empty table and took us to it.  Bypassing, I suppose, the rules.

Rules are funny.  Necessary in a nebulous way, desirable in a dirge and fulsome when fitting.  I ordered a filet with cheese sauce.  Some foodies would say that was breaking an unspoken culinary rule:  don't ruin a fine piece of flesh with saucy excess.  I was inclined to break the rule.  I am inclined to break many.  Bend some.  Ignore others.  In all of those actions, a person is taking a chance.  The chance of finding out why rules are set in the first place.

The cheese sauce was disgusting and I admitted defeat to myself.  Rule noted.  To my dinner companion, I just whined.  I sliced into the steak and found no red.  Having ordered medium-rare, I was disheartened with my choice.  But!  A window opens when a door closes?  A door closes when a window is broken?  There's a secret door behind the bookcase if you play certain keys on the piano? Yes.  I can change my mind.  I can ask for something different.

I looked up to find our waiter, that same warm mannered young man who greeted us, and watched then as he slipped in and out of the dinner crowd, handing food off to one table, providing drinks to another, stopping in his graceful service to pick up broken glass on the floor and, without missing a beat, setting off to help another.  I did not have to wait long for him to come back to check on us.  I informed him of my desire to have the steak as I had ordered it, showing him the evidence.  He was understanding, agreeable and swift in his care.

In the interim, my companion and I watched and listened to the children playing in the sprinklers.  He enjoying his meal and me - still listless.  I'd ordered a lovely glass of wine, so I sipped and waited, hopeful.

My new steak came.  My new steak was a blue steak.  My foodie's heart was broken.  I was livid.  My hunger driven logic thought that the cook was offended I did not prefer the medium steak I was served so he/she chose to give me blood.  Bloody, it was.

Our warm, wonderful waiter had stayed at the table to see if the meat was to my satisfaction.  His look of dismay was genuine.  His request to have me allow him to take it back a second time, sincere.  I was flippant in stating that at least I could see the blood in this one.  Another look of dismay from the sweet boy and then I remembered part of my manners and spent the next few moments trying to assure the young gentleman that it was okay because I do have a preference for more red than brown in my meat, so it would do.

And, it did. Do.  I've cooked many a blue steak in my day.  Haste and hunger overriding the need to wait for a perfect heat.  I wasn't satisfied.  I could only eat portions of it.  My anger plain on my face.  My companion thinking me overly concerned about nothing.  He going so far as to think I took it personally because I grew up hungry therefore somehow this stranger, the cook, had deliberately done this to me. To me!  How dare he?  This, he thought was my ire.  His appreciation for food is different than mine.  My heart really was broken.  Not because I had gotten the wrong temperature in the first instance and not because I had gotten the wrong temperature in the second instance, but because I believed the serving of the blue steak was deliberate.  That someone who cooks food for a living would not take the care to get it right after having gotten it wrong in the first place.  That someone would rather disappoint again.  That someone is human.  Imperfect.  Fallible.  Capable of mistakes in executing.  Capable of mistakes in judgment.  Capable of emotion-driven decisions.  Just like me.

I do not know if it was deliberate. I believed it to be.  If it wasn't deliberate, it was incompetence.  Which is worse?

I was given a chocolate dessert in recompense.  I was again flippant -  remarking to my companion that they were trying to buy me off.  It was an off color joke, fitting for my experience.  He chose to share my remark with our waiter, making the fellow uncomfortable and me abashed.  I gave my companion the dessert.  He is the sweet tooth. I am not. I am a salty/savory gal.  I like steak.  Steak over cake.

There's your review, friend.  Do with it what you will.

The Leptologists Eat at Thai Mango

Paul: Thai Mango or Bangkok Grocery and Restaurant?
Candice: Are you in a Thai mood today?
Paul: Apparently. Which of those two sound good?

Interior

Candice: I could eat some Thai food. Let's go with Thai Mango.
Paul: Done. Thai Mango is on Bethel Road, across from Graeters in Northwest Columbus, about fifteen minutes from downtown.
Candice: I like the sophisticated interior.
Paul: The dark wood is nice.
Candice: The dining room is empty and it's 11:30. Not much traffic here today. By the time we leave only two other tables are occupied.

Gyoza Dumplings

Paul: The menu on the web was scanned in with Optical Character Recognition. The four beverages that don't allow refills say "(no refills)", "(ho refills)", "{no hefills)", and "(no refIlls)".
Candice: They got it right a quarter of the time.  Nerd.
Paul: Our waitress Jennifer memorizes our order. I'm always impressed when waitstaff don't need to write things down.
Candice: I order Shu Mai, the Calamari Salad, and Panang Curry Chicken.
Paul: I order Gyoza--

Calamari Salad

Candice: Of course!
Paul: --Chicken Tom Yum Soup, and Basil Chicken Fried Rice.
Candice: Both lunches come with Spring Rolls and they are the first to arrive.
Paul: They are tasty, but not fresh. Probably not made in-house.
Candice: I'm guessing not. They are hot and crunchy, but not made from scratch.
Paul: Your calamari salad arrives and looks very interesting.
Candice: And here are the gyoza and your soup. The soup looks awesome.

Panang Chicken Curry

Paul: How's the salad?
Candice: Sweet and tangy and the texture is not too bad. It's okay. I don't care much for cold calamari.
Paul: The dumplings are generic. The exterior is doughy and bland.
Candice: Yes, but they taste not too bad.
Paul: "Not too bad"? You're just hungry.
Candice: Probably so. They are a bit greasy too.

Tom Yum Soup

Paul: Wow! This soup is incredibly spicy. It's almost too hot to eat. It attacks the throat and invades the sinuses. Very nice on a blustery, chill day.
Candice: Let me try. Oh, yes, that is strong soup, but very good.

Basil Chicken

Paul: The entrees and the Shu Mai have arrived.
Candice: The Panang Curry is excellent. The sauce is good: creamy, spicy, and hot. My nose is running now.
Paul: And the Shu Mai?
Candice: Meh. Not anything to write home about, but not too bad.

Shu Mai

Paul: There's that phrase again. My basil chicken fried rice is all right. I expected the chicken to be more finely chopped. And the amount of Thai basil is less than I have liked. The rice is too sticky and squishy.
Candice: Maybe "all right" is too generous.
Paul: Well, I ate most of it. It could have been better to be sure.
Candice: That sums it up, doesn't it?
Paul: Yes, you're right about that.
Candice: It's a cute little Asian bistro. We got what we expected and nothing more. The best part was your soup. Everything else was--
Paul: --not too bad.
Candice: Yeah.
Paul: Was it worth the price?
Candice: Sure. Nothing we ordered was over six-fifty.
Paul: Worth the wait?
Candice: Not really. No one was here, but I wouldn't drive fifteen minutes for this lunch.
Paul: Worth coming back?
Candice: Only if I was in the vicinity.
Paul: I agree on all counts. It's a nice Thai place, but nothing too spectacular except for the soup. I'd not seek it out, but if I was in the mood for cheap Thai food and was across the street then, yes.
Candice: I guess we should have picked the other Thai place.
Paul: Maybe next time.
Candice: No, I think we've had enough Thai for now.

	Candice	Paul
Worth the Price?
Worth the Wait?
Worth Coming Back?

Spring Roll