Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Leptologists Eat at Dirty Frank's Hotdog Palace

Paul: You picked Dirty Frank's Hotdog Palace today, a Columbus institution.
Candice: We arrive at 11:30 and we have to wait. People are already waiting on the sidewalk.  Par for the course with this place.  Has been like this since it opened.  Popular, and soon you'll see why.
Paul: Luckily, two spots open at bar. This place is small, but it's got character.
Candice: It's packed.  Best to get here before they open.

Interior Bar
Paul: Their menu is hilarious. They have almost 50 different hotdogs on the menu, with names like The Seoul Dog (Kim Chee, Mayo, and Sriracha sauce) and The Picnic Table (Baked Beans, Cabbage and Carrots, Mustard Slaw, Relish, and Chip Crumbs).
Candice: Or The Glenn Beck which is just a plain, old wiener.  Thanks for giving me this line, friend.
Paul: And they have 30 some toppings to go on the dogs. The permutations are immense.
Candice:  Math.  It's where it's at...The special today is a Dine Originals: two dogs, tater tots, and a dessert (baklava or brownie) for $10. We both decide to get that. For me, I choose The Real Man (Brown Mustard, Coney Sauce, Sauerkraut, and Onion) and The Chicago (Tomatoes, Onion, Peppers, Relish, Pickle, Yellow Mustard, and a dash of Celery Salt). For dessert, I have the brownie. I also get Grape Soda to drink.  'Cause, it's Grape Soda!!
Paul: I pick The Classy Lady (Cheese Sauce and Crushed Potato Chips) and the holiday special hotdog, The Franksgiving Dog (Turkey, Stuffing, and Gravy). For dessert, I have the baklava.
Candice: Service is quick.

Real Man, Chicago Dog, and Brownies
Paul: With so many people waiting to get in, it'd have to be.
Candice: I love the tingle-sweet/tingle-sweet cycle of the Chicago dog. This is a well-done dog.
Paul: The Franksgiving dog is like Thanksgiving in a bun. It's a combination of flavors I've never tasted before. The tots are generic.
Candice: They cleanse the palate.
Paul: You have an answer for everything.  Know It All.
I expected the Franksgiving dog to be very messy, but it's not so bad. These poppy seed buns are structurally sound.
Candice: ...and Science for the win.
The cups are ginormous. I love the Grape Soda.
'Cause, it's Grape Soda!!
Paul: I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't...ah, the heck with it.  The music is loud and runs from heavy metal to more progressive rock. It's kinda hard to be heard in here.
Candice: What? I was caught up in the episode of The Fresh Prince they have playing on the TV.

Classy Lady and Franksgiving Dog
Paul: "Smell ya later!" How's your Real Man?
Candice: Not as good as the Chicago. I've left it half-eaten. And your Classy Lady?
Paul: Likewise half-eaten. The chips are stale. And I think it would be better if they were BBQ chips.
Candice: That would be a Classier Lady.
Paul: Okay, now I am embarrassed.  How's your brownie?
Candice: Fresh and moist. Good brownie. Your baklava?
Paul: It's flaky and sweet. Maybe too sweet. Actually, I'm going to have to stop eating it, it's so sweet.
Candice: So what do you think overall?


Paul: It's one of the more interesting places we've had lunch, lots of character and lots of interesting tastes mounted on the standard America hot dog.
Candice: It was a quick and cheap lunch. $10 each for a filling, tasty lunch.
Paul: Some missteps on the meal, such as the stale chips on the Classy Lady, the overly sweet baklava, and your not so great Real Man dog, but there's enough on the menu that anyone will be able to find something to delight the tummy.
Candice: Worth the wait?
Paul: Yes, for a party of two. A party of five or more would have a long wait unless they came early.
Candice: True. Worth the price? $10 for two dogs, tots, and dessert. That's pretty good.
Paul: Agreed. Worth coming back to?
Candice: Undoubtedly.
Paul: My only regret is that the Franksgiving dog is seasonal. That's a good dog.  Maybe, we can convince them to keep it on the menu year-round?
Candice: Yes, come back with your red foam hand and attempt some negotiating practices.  In the meantime, we should scoot.  People are still piling in here.
Paul: Smell ya later, Dirty Franks.
Candice: It's only cute when Will does it, dude.

Candice   Paul   

Worth the Price?
Worth the Wait?
Worth Coming Back?

Dirty Frank's Hot Dog Palace on Urbanspoon

No comments:

Post a Comment