Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Leptologists Eat at The Elevator

Candice: We only have a short time for lunch today, so we'll go someplace local.
Paul: How about the closest restaurant to our workplace? The Elevator.
Candice: One of our favorites. How come we haven't reviewed it already?
Paul: We've been waiting for the perfect occasion?
Candice: Could be! Let's go!
Paul: Here were are! A short walk, but, darn, it's cold out.
Candice: We're the only ones here at 11:00 AM and they sit us by the door. Brrrr!
Paul: We didn't drive so I can't get the blanket for you.
Candice: I may just be a tad hangry.
Paul: The waiter arrives for our drink orders and lists the specials.
Candice: I order the in-house root beer.
Paul: The loaded baked potato soup sounds good. There is no other lunch special, which is odd.
Candice: For the appetizer we choose Ryan's Corn Brats.

Ryan's Brats
Paul: I'm gonna get the Rock Filet.
Candice: That means I can't. And I'm not getting a burger.
Paul: Sorry. How about the meatloaf?
Candice: That does sound good. I'll get that and the Tomato and Artichoke Soup.
Paul: I'll get the Rock Filet and the Loaded Potato Soup.
Candice: This water tastes horrible. Good thing I have this awesome root beer.
Paul: Maybe the water is linked to the mildewy smell that pervades the place.
Candice: I think it's just city tap water. The smell is old building smell.
Paul: The soups arrive with some table bread.

Tomato Soup
Candice: And the Brats.
Paul: The coating is corn-doggy and good, but there is an odd aftertaste to the brat.
Candice: I like the batter too, but the bratwurst isn't as bratty as I want it. The spicy horseradish sauce adds a nice kick.
Paul: How's the sauerkraut?
Candice: Try some. It has a mild first taste, followed by a nice flavor afterwards.
Paul: I don't like--
Candice: Just eat it.
Paul: One bite.... Not bad. It put a kick on the tongue.
Candice: I could eat sauerkraut and pickles all day. I come from Germanic people.

Potato Soup
Paul: Sauerkraut and pickles probably keep them from being hangry. This soup is very fresh. It's chunky, hearty, and earthy. This last taste makes it seem too fresh.
Candice: Let me try. I see what you mean. But it's a good soup.
Paul: It's growing on me. At first the earthiness was distracting, but here I am finishing the whole bowl.
Candice: I love the sweet and cheddary flaky flavor of the Tomato and Artichoke Soup. Try some.
Paul: I like that a lot.
Candice: Want to trade soups?
Paul: No, I'll stick with the potato.

Table Bread
Candice: Earthiness? That's just plain freshness, and you like it!
Paul: Guilty.
Candice: The bread is fresh and delicious. The tide of appetizers and soup has stalled my hanger.
Paul: Thank goodness.
Candice: But I'm still cold.
Paul: We're being used as the token couple up front.
I guess we should have come later than 11:00 AM.
Candice: The entrees have arrived, overwhelming our small table.

Rock Filet
Paul: The Rock Filet comes on a hot brick, the meat rare, so that you can cook it to your desired temperature.
Candice: There are three sauces with it, the double demi-glace, the creamy peppercorn, and the bearnaise.
Paul: The fungi is yours.
Candice: Brown them up for me on your brick.
Paul: Your meatloaf is as tall as my meal is wide.

Meat Loaf
Candice: Indeed. But for all its height, the meatloaf is just hamburger. It has the texture of hamburger and the taste of it.
Paul: It is a bit bland.
Candice: The rosemary they used tastes stale.
Paul: My steak is as good as usual. The meat is flavorful and fresh. It cooks quickly to medium-rare on my rock. But my mashed potatoes are lukewarm. Wow, what a disappointment.
Candice: I can beat you on that. The potatoes at the bottom of my tower of meatloaf are uncooked. This spud is a dud.

Raw Tater
Paul: I can at least heat my mashed potatoes on my hot rock.
Candice: You can cook mine too.
Paul: And waste my heat on your tater?
Candice: Fine! Be a heat miser.
Paul: The demi-glace sauce is tasty, but the creamy peppercorn is too peppery and the bearnaise sauce is too creamy.
Candice: Let me have that peppercorn sauce. I think I can de-bland the loaf with it.
Paul: How is it now?
Candice: Not bad.
Paul: What are you doing over there?
Candice: I pressed the wrong button on the camera app! What is this thing doing?
Paul: You just took six selfies. This is about the food, you know. Not you.

Candice Selfie
Candice: It's about me...and it's about you.
Paul: Good point. Check out this article on us in the Columbus City Scene Magazine.
Candice: That's us outside the Elevator on a different day.
Paul: Well, what do you think? Worth the price, worth the wait, worth coming back?
Candice: Your steak was excellent, as it usually is. The soups and bread were very good. The appetizer was decent. For some reason, the potatoes were just plain bad. Uncooked and undercooked.
Paul: Maybe the tater chef was out today.
Candice: This lunch is too expensive to include undercooked potatoes.
Paul: It seems an odd gaff for an otherwise good restaurant and lunch.
Candice: The wait was nonexistent, even if they did sit us near the door and in the cold. I will be back because I know they are better than this.
Paul: Agreed, worth the wait, worth coming back, but questionable on the price for you. The cool mashed potatoes aren't enough for me to mark them negative on price.
Candice: Really?  For our next lunch then, we'll go to my place and I'll just throw some raw potatoes at you and charge you for them.  You could own a red X then, eh?

Candice   Paul   

Worth the Price?
Worth the Wait?
Worth Coming Back?

Elevator Brewery and Draught Haus on Urbanspoon

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